Happily Ever After Is Not a Fairy Tale, It’s a Choice!

DarsanaRoldan.com

DarsanaRoldan.com

“”No one can go back and change how it started but a new future for any marriage can begin the moment one person begins to invest in it.” Fawn Weaver

Marriage is a choice. But not a choice you make once and then every now and them do something to support that original choice. It’s a choice you make over and over again for a life time.

From the moment you wake up every morning, having a plan already in place is not only wise, but essential. Bringing things into perspective and highlighting all the unique things you like about your partner and your children, will get you right on track and will give so much clarity and determination in everything else you do throughout the day.

It’s also extremely important to realize, YOU have to develop the discipline to choose the kind of thoughts you have daily, sometimes moment by moment, or the collective mentality of humanity will steer you wrong every single time.

Although humanity as a whole is desperately craving loving couples raising loved childrenit’s going to take a shift in Consciousness of more couples like us before we tilt the scale.

I don’t know how many more years from now, but hopefully one day soon, the same way we look at turning points like the abolition of slavery, women’s rights inequality and the misconception around homosexuality, future generations will look back in disbelief about the way our generations viewed marriage and children… but ONLY if we make different CHOICES from now on!

Mainstream media and too many people think that CHANGING the misconception most people have about marriage may be hard to do. The truth is that for every negative news they highlight, there are hundreds of positive ones going on at every moment, but they don’t show that because they don’t think it will make the ratings. They truly don’t know the impact of this negative attention because they don’t understand how devastating it’s to billions of families around the world, who suffer from the results of broken homes.

But you know what’s really HARD?  Two people who care about each other, and their children, not realizing that you need to invest in yourself FIRST and that’s what leads to improving your marriage. As a coach and a mentor, I see so many highly successful people more or less doing the same things, but expecting different results, when it comes to their marriage. I also see too many people listening to the advice of family and friends (based on their own experiences), that unfortunately makes things even worse.

You and your spouse are two different people. It is your uniqueness that brought you together, and it is your uniqueness that needs to be dealt with.

At what point, couples are going to understand that marriage is not easy, and it takes for each person to take accountability and forgiveness to a whole new level. Whether we like it or not, a lot of times we pay each other’s price for the growing pains of the other person. It’s inevitable. Your live together and part of life is to make mistakes and learn your own lessons. And that goes for every aspect of your life. Which means you will get to see each other’s journeys and a lot of times they are not pretty or perfect.

I can go on and on about the things that usually happen whenever you get two people from different upbringing together. Whether it’s marriage, or any other type of relationship. It can be challenging after a while. I get it. But that doesn’t mean it’s over.

Yes you can go on and find another person, and perhaps you won’t make the same mistakes, but you can also build upon what you have gone through together and create something unique and solid for the greater good of the whole family.

I can almost guarantee you that most children either prefer their parents to work things out, or the ones who claim they will be happier to see them separate is because they don’t think they could actually have what they want… a happy ending!

But it’s not that you should stay together for the children, that never works out good anyway. You want to work things out because deep inside there are so many things you love about each other, but somehow you forgot all about them.

The idea that some people have that he or she can no longer live with the other person, is not quite accurate until you get to be withOUT that person for a while. Whenever any couple has challenges, your individual minds delete and distort the information allowing you only to see and hear anything and everything that supports the way you feel in that moment. But later on, you are back into realizing couples with children not only have a special bond together, but it’s the togetherness that you will miss deeply.

Sometimes, even when you imagine what your life would be like if you get divorced, it’s not worth more than the whole package you will loose. And the drama no ones think about, because you can’t imagine what it would be like having children together while living so called separate lives.

I strongly believe there are times that we can live with the mistakes we make, and there are others, you just can’t afford to make that one mistake that will change your life forever!!!

Happily Ever After Is Not a Fairy Tale, It’s a Choice!

Unleash your potential,

Darsana

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