“The desire of knowledge, like the thirst for riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.” Laurence Sterne
Throughout history there are many things that men have become very good at doing. Some men are born knowing exactly what they want to do and others find out going through their life journey. Contrary to what others may tell you, it takes a great deal of discipline to develop any specific mastery. In my personal experience, it is way more fun and exciting to do anything when you switch to High Performance Mode.
When it comes to marriage, we, meaning men, have a long way to go when it comes to High Performance Mode and Mastery. The reason why this is, as far as I’m concerned, is not even important. What truly matters is that we become better and better at it. I strongly believe that if you are married with children, the ultimate goal is to continue thriving to become a better men. Not only that, I also believe that nothing can satisfy you more!
3 Destructive Habits High Performance Men Don’t Do In Their Marriage
1- Don’t Blame – Your mind filters are continuously, and with great perseverance, seeking out reasons as to why you are not getting or feeling the way you want in life. The challenge with that in any marriage is that unless purposefully directed, the default set up of your individual mind is to find something outside of yourself responsible for it, in this case your wife. Unless you learn how to discipline your mind, you will only see a limited side of what’s truly going on. Believe me when I tell you an undisciplined mind will blame the other person until the day you die.
The truth is, and perhaps the reason there are over 43,000 divorces every week, it’s quite a challenge to transcend this challenge because it’s your mind the one creating it. One situation, but two different realities… usually ends in BLAMING one another!
Learn and build upon your ability to be accountable. You have superior mental faculties that when used properly, will allow you to do that. At one point you expand your ability to see with so much clarity, and you will realize what’s coming up in your relationship, are not happening to you, but for you. Until then, the blaming game is not only destructive, but a HUGE problem in any marriage and a blockage to unleash your true individual potential.
2- Don’t Set Yourself Up – Nobody, including children, likes to be treated or talked to like a child. And when I say like a child, what I am referring is probably a child whose brain is not fully developed, and therefore we usually engage in telling them what to do, or not do, so they can learn certain things.
But what I often hear is men saying that their wife, or women in general, are always nagging, complaining, upset at them, and telling them what to do. I also hear women saying that they have another child at home, not a husband. Here is the thing. If you make the bed, then you have to sleep in it. In another words, you can’t go over the speed limit and then ask the cop not to give you a ticket.
Remember. If you don’t want to be treated or talked to like most people believe children should be talked to, DON’T SET YOURSELF UP FOR IT.
And if you do, don’t blame or bring destructive ways to put yourself down. Switch into High Performance Mode by becoming RESPONSIBLE. Which means, you have the ability and powers to respond to something that your wife doesn’t like and is not serving anyone in any productive way.
Develop your ability to FOCUS. Don’t just do what’s expected. Get CONNECTED and open yourself to take initiative as to what else needs to de done in the house, with the kids, and in keeping your marriage fresh and exciting. When a challenge arises, it’s just an opportunity to learn something new and become an even greater person.
It may sound hard at first. But it’s NOT any different than when I first asked any of our kids to learn how to READ. We are talking about not only breaking loose from old beliefs and programming. We are talking about expanding your Consciousness to new levels of manhood. We are talking about a different use of the male and female energies withIN who you are for the betterment of you, your marriage, your children, and the collective consciousness of humanity as a whole.
3- Don’t Ask For More Than You’re Willing To Give – You have emotional super natural powers to develop a greater understanding and compassion for you, your wife and children. Emotions, feelings when rightly understood, are not only ESSENTIAL for you to feel content and fulfilled, but they are required in your process of becoming more in tune with what it takes to master your role as a husband and a father.(High Performance Mode)
The Law of Equivalent clearly states, that you get back what you put into anything. You want more love, passion, sensuality, sex, attention, etc.? Then give more of your time and effort to learn and develop the inherited emotional powers within who you are.
Neither your wife or your children can do this for you. They may INSPIRE you to do it, but the bottom line is, you and only you can do this for yourself. The great news is that Life itself is conspiring to support you.
For many obvious reasons, and specially more in the last 50 years, we have experienced a tremendous shift regarding women taking way more and bigger roles in the world. In order for that shift to continue empowering all of us, we, the men, need to expand our own capabilities and bring forward a new, more grounded way, to support our marriages and our children.
Connecting to our emotional powers is one part of us men that needs a tremendous amount of attention. A High Performance Man SUPPORTS their wife in a totally different way. Being connected to your emotions gives life and meaning to your marriage. A way of living in the world, day by day, in which you experience a free flow of joy, excitement and gratitude that comes from with in.
When you and your wife are both willing to give as much as you want to receive, then no one is left drained out. You both push yourself to become better from attraction, rather than promotion.
“Infinite resources are at man’s disposal. There are no limits to his possibilities. He focuses and individualizes the elements, forces, and principles of the whole world. He can develop a wonderful intelligence; thus, all life’s questions may be answered, all Nature’s secrets discovered, and all human problems solve. Nothing is impossible.” Raymond N. Holliwell
Men and women are never satisfied, and although it may sound dysfunctional to others, I believe Life did not intend for that to be any different than what it is. The Law of Life is continuous increase, progress, and growth. So when one good is realized, another desire for a greater good will develop. And when you use this knowledge to reach a higher level of performance, another and more glorious state will unfold within your inner vision.
Important Note: None of these 3 powerful insights are HARD to understand and build upon.We are born with all of them naturally. It is the de-programming and de-conditioning that may take longer.
Unleash your potential,
P.S. I cover all this and more in the Ignite Your Marriage, Transform Your Life Private Intensive.
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